


One Corn Chip

by johnny__guitar



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Demon Summoning, i wasted half an hour on this shitpost, like legit most of this is just a demon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-31 22:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10908645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnny__guitar/pseuds/johnny__guitar
Summary: Angela finally gets tired of Genji's advances, and takes matters into her own hands.





	One Corn Chip

In all of my centuries making bargains and serving Hell, I’ve never had a summoning go quite like this.

For one thing, the person who summoned me seemed absolutely _exhausted._ Summoning demons takes some energy, but the small blonde woman sitting lazily on a table before me, wearing battered scrubs who (evidently) called for me looked more haggard than she should, for the energy this called for.

Second, she looked utterly furious, with none of the fear or reverence that I’ve come to expect from the kind of people who decide “you know what, I’m going to summon demons today”, for no apparent reason. This is especially shocking, considering that demons in this day and age tend to present as the most horrifying thing to the modern human brain: white, middle aged businessmen, who also (for unrelated reasons) tend to be on fire. Nothing about her seemed to indicate she had any respect for the ancient demon she’d called upon; instead it seemed as though she just wanted to be done with this to get on with her day.

Thirdly, the human seemed to make her summoning circle in some sort of laboratory or medical wing of some sort, which is, frankly, hilariously ironic. More concerning was the fact that there was no lines of salt outside the circle, or, in fact, any sort of safeguards keeping me from simply rushing her. Not, of course, like I’d _do_ that, but a curious omission nonetheless.

Without wasting a second more, I launched into my obligatory summoning speech: _“What mortal dares summon me, a fallen angel of Hell? What is the meaning of this? Are you so desperate for intervention?”_

The human looks me dead in the eyes, responding flatly. “My name is Angela Ziegler. I’d like to offer you someone’s soul. Quickly, if possible.”

Well. That’s not something you hear every day. Usually takes a bit of pushing to get _that_ far. _“You wish to sacrifice another mortal’s soul?”_ I ask, desperately trying to keep confusion out of my voice. _“Why? What has this mortal done to you to provoke such anger from you?”_

Angela sighs. “A patient of mine won’t stop flirting with me. I’ve turned him down, but day in and day out, it’s just ‘are you impressed by my swordsmanship?’ or ‘you should come see my castle someday’ or ‘I brought you some chocolates’- which, for the record, weren’t even _Swiss-_ and I’m just _tired_ of him. You spend _hours_ reconstructing someone’s body because some higher-up told you to because he’s _‘valuable’_ , and the only thanks you get is sexual harassment. I had to take matters into my own hands.”

Ah. Common enough motive, really. Not too shocked. Can’t really blame her for wanting to exact revenge. _“I see. Of course; give me this man’s name, and it will be done. You will, of course, wish for some reimbursement?”_

She nods. “It would be nice to get something out of this anyway.”

First rule of bargaining for souls: start small, it softens humans up, gives you an idea of what you can get away with. _“Unfortunately, for a soul such as this, I cannot offer much in the way of a boon. Your reward may be along the lines of a singular corn chip-”_

“Done.”

...What? _What?_

_“...Really? I could go higher, if you wish. Maybe eternal life would suit you better, or the power to heal with a touch? Maybe new equipment for your laboratory, or an all-healing medicine? One corn chip can't be enough for a soul...”_  
  
“I’m certain. Knowing that Genji isn’t an issue anymore is reward enough.”

Well, that was easy. _“Of course. If this is all you require, I shall take my leave.”_

Angela nods, and with that, I leave.

* * *

 

The next day, when Angela wakes up, she finds a singular bag of corn chips on one of the operating tables, and, oddly, all her medicine and equipment stores replaced or refilled. Seems like that demon really did something...


End file.
